There is a pleasure in the pathless woods; There is a rapture on the lonely shore; There is society, where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not man the less but nature more...
listening to Pink Floyd’s, Wish You Were Here on vinyl. one of my favorite albums. i have fallen in love with the snapping and crackling of the record player.
home doesn’t feel like home anymore. i’m tired of this town and seeing the same faces day after day.
i took a nap today. i feel like the older i get, the younger i actually get. nap times are key these days. i mostly blame it on my cat. she always forces me to join her cat naps. she is too damn adorable for me to deny.
my notebook is in Grace’s med bag. she accidently took mine, thinking it was hers. and hers is under the coffee table in the apartment. this wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t have the same notebook as me. copy cat!
went to cityside this morning. scrambled egg, homefries (THE WORLD’S GREATEST), sausage links (because they are better than fatty patties), english muff with grape jelly, and some good old coffee.
i'm leaving for good. and i'm taking the cat. i have lost all respect for you. you are not a father. you are a child. don't come crying to me when you are lonely. you have your little "friend" to go to for that. mom would be disappointed in you. thanks for nothing.
since i work at a grocery store in a small town, i see a lot of people on a daily basis. i see my regulars, the old people, the moms, the coupon lady, joseph, and occasionally a few strange figures are thrown in there.
well today, i got one of those strange figures. i saw him walk through the door as i was just standing there staring into space scanning groceries. he was tall and had a horrible beer belly. the overalls he was wearing did no justice for his unflattering, big foot like, body. he also had mutton chops. he was a champ right from the start.
i forgot about him five seconds later, my ADD kicking in. back to scanning groceries i went. ten minutes later, mr. mutton chops comes through my line. im excited to meet this one. he has a red, white, and blue cake, a pink tube of frosting, cake decorating frosting tip things, a dozen roses, and a card. so i said “sir, did you need someone to write on your cake?”, noticing that the blank cake and frosting. he said yes, but the bakery was closed. so i told him i could do it for him so he wouldnt have to buy the frosting and shit (this happens frequently at night after the bakery is closed in shaws. its my chance to let my cake decorating abilities shine!”.
anyways, so he wants “7-11-98”, written on his cake in pink frosting “with a few hearts around it or something”. as im doing this he is telling me all about his life.
he told me all this, and much more, in less than 3 minutes:
he went to architecture school in Boston.
but that was during Vietnam so he left and joined the Marines.
when he got back all his friends had died in the war.
he got married to “some bitch” and then divorced her.
then he “was a shmuck for 25 years”
knocked up his second wife when he was 55 and said, “oh jesus, here we go.”
and then divorced her.
today he found a wedding dress in the trash. it is his current wife’s size.
his wife doesnt have her wedding dress anymore so he is going to give her the one from the trash.
today, he “smoked a bowl with his buddy in Duxbury” because he was “such a mess”
i still dont know why he told me any of this. but i really dont care. this guy made my day.
today i applied for an opening at Whole Foods as a cashier. I have always wanted to work at whole foods. i like working at a grocery store, just not shaws. shaws is gross, and im sick of 96.8% of the people i work with. lets hope i get this job, it would make life easier.
and if i get this job, that means i can move to Beverly for the rest of the summer. i am so tired of this little town i live in. there is only one group of people here i hang out with. the rest of my friends are scattered about right now, but in a month we will all be back in beverly together.
there are too many memories here. my dad isnt helping me at all. i honestly think the only thing i will miss in this damn town is my cat.
im ready to leave this town behind. im ready to move into my adorable apartment with a few of my best friends. im ready to go back to school and not fuck up this time. im ready for a new job. new people. new place.